My family members have been strong nondenominational Christians since before I was even born, so I was naturally raised in that faith. I trusted in God, and I put my life in his hands in hard situations. I went to church every weekend, was baptized, and went to church camp in the summer. I was the perfect little Christian girl. I am quite sure this is a normal thing, but around the age of 12 or 13 I began to have doubt creep into my heart as I began to ponder things like the meaning of life and what not. I was scared, and I was certain that Satan was tempting me. I pushed away any thoughts that contradicted what I was told in Sunday school. However, there were 2 questions I did think about. I heard so many stories from the bible and from people I knew where God talked to them, told them what to do in hard situations. I had never heard God speak to me, and I wanted to know what to listen for. Every pastor and camp counslers I asked gave me a wish washy answer. I got so upset at a group prayer at camp worship that I began to cry and ask God outloud why he wouldn’t talk to me. As years passed and I matured more questions came to me that went against everything I was taught. I think it is a normal thing to question your religion in your adolescent years, but I am 16 right now and have come to some conclusions. I believe that religion is not a prerequisite for morality, and that (whether there really is a God or whether there is not) humans need religion because it gives them something to live for and it gives them rules to keep them civil. I agree with most things the Christian religion teaches like generosity, truthfulness, and overall morality, but I cannot convince myself that there is a god who made a man out of dust. I have always laughed at stories of other religions and called them ridiculous, but I never looked at how ridiculous the stories of my own faith are. I must admit that the stories of the bible are brilliant because of their timeless themes that can be applied to life throughout all ages, but I cannot believe that they actually happened. I enjoy reading fantasy books, and I have always been able to separate what is folly from what is real life. The stories from the bible sound too much like folly to me. The second question I asked when I was little was why does God no longer preform unexplainable miracles like the ones in the bible? I certainly have never seen someone come back from the dead and I have never heard of bread multiplying to feed hundreds of thousands of starving people. Those are some of my doubts, here is my dilemma: As I mentioned before my entire family is Christian. I cannot bring my thoughts to any of them because thy would be hurt and confused, they would blame themselves, and they would just try to convert my back to Christianity my entire life and I wouldn’t get any of the answers I am looking for. Please feel free to comment reguardless of what you believe. All ideas welcome here, please tell me what you think.
Me 
